I just cut my nipple shaving
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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