hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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