remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
