hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
