We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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