Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
