The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
