He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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