sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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