I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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