i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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