im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize