once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
