Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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