tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Rumble strips road head = magical
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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