he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
you had me at cake vodka
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
