Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
