he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize