i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
