Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
