it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I have post one night stand depression
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