I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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