I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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