I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
