How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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