My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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