remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
