Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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