I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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