i just google imaged poop.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
