There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
