maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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