4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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