Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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