i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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