I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
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He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
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Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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