Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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