eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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