Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
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I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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