That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
