she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
