Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize