Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
