with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You took a bar mat shot.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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