I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize