Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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