I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize