Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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