Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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