Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
