she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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