grandma shit on top of the toilet
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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