kristin has been a bad kristin
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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