Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
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