Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
