it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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