did you get engaged???
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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