I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think I died a long time ago.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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