i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
home. puking in laundry basket.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
