I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
where are you?
Hypothermia
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
