I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
