I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
