Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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