What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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