ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
